This short two-person play is also a usual "character building" tool for any actress using the "Vicky Monologue" for auditions and classroom performances.
Setting:The box office of the Grand Cinemas. No set is required. Two office chairs (capable of rolling and spinning) are placed center stage. An attractive young woman who looks both cynical and whimsical spins in the chair. She is dressed in a rather ugly polyester outfit one expect to find on a movie theater employee. Her name is Vicky. And she is bored.
(A young man named Joshua enters. Vicky suddenly stops spinning. Her boredom has suddenly vanished.)
VICKY: So, you’ve finally made it to the fishbowl?
JOSHUA: The what?
VICKY: That’s what we call the box office. An insider joke between cashiers.
VICKY: So you’ve made it.
JOSHUA: I guess. Mr. Boston said he wanted you to train me how to work the box office.
VICKY: Then let the training begin. People come up. They say what movie they want. You press this button. Take their money. Give them their ticket. There, you’re trained.
JOSHUA: Now what?
VICKY: Now sit down and wait. But don’t get anxious. No one’s coming tonight. It’s Christmas Eve and all our movies suck.
JOSHUA: This beats working at concessions. Thank God I didn’t get stuck with that Bar One job. That would’ve sucked.
VICKY: Stuart is certainly loving it though. Have you seen that look in his eye when he’s running Concessions?
JOSHUA: What do you mean?
VICKY: He usually smiles, and treats the peons with respect… but his eyes… They’re lit up like a power hungry mad man. I think he pictures himself as some Egyptian pharaoh who whips the backs of his slaves, just to sell a few extra drinks.
JOSHUA: Really? I haven’t noticed.
VICKY: He told me you guys went to grade school together.
JOSHUA: Are you guys dating?
VICKY: Why do you ask?
JOSHUA: He told me you were dating but that you wanted it kept secret.
VICKY: If I was dating someone why would I want to keep it secret?
JOSHUA: Uh, maybe because Stuart’s kind of a nerd.
VICKY: So you did go to school together?
JOSHUA: We met in the fifth grade. You know how every class has a kid who gets picked on throughout the whole year by everybody? That was him. No one liked him.
JOSHUA: Well, it started out just because he was the new kid. His folks just move into town to set up a new church. They were husband and wife ministers or something. Very, I don’t know, just kind of friendly and creepy at the same time.
VICKY: I met them. I know.
JOSHUA: Anyway, kids in school picked on him because he was new, and a little weird looking. You can’t tell it as much, but his face was completely covered with freckles. Big brown freckles… kind of like… um… like someone flicked splotches of paint at him.
VICKY: I always thought they were kind of cute.
JOSHUA: And then no one liked him because every chance he got, he started talking about Jesus. He did a book report on the entire Bible. In art class, he made a crown of thorns ashtray. He tried making Noah’s Ark out of clay, but it exploded in the kiln. And then one day we were supposed to give a speech, an oral report on the country of our choice and he picked Israel.
VICKY: Well… that’s not so bad.
JOSHUA: During his whole oral report… he spoke in tongues.
VICKY: Really? I had an uncle who got into that. He’d speak in tongues before every Thanksgiving dinner. But he had one of those robot voices because of his throat cancer, so it was really low and scary. Like Darth Vader speaking pig latin.
JOSHUA: Stuart wasn’t as entertaining. And to top it off, the kids started hating him more because he wanted to be the teacher’s pet.
VICKY: That doesn’t surprise me. He kisses up to all the managers. .
JOSHUA: Same thing we the school teachers. And the lunch lady. And the principal. Most kids said he was a tattle tale. There was this one bully who hocked a loogie right in his hair, right in the middle of class.
VICKY: Oh please, I just ate buttered popcorn.
JOSHUA: But anyway, I felt sorry for Stu. So I let him hang around me at recess once in a while. He was okay. Sort of clingy. He never wanted to leave my side. I got beat up a couple of times by Troy, just for sticking up for him.
VICKY: Are you two still friends?
JOSHUA: I guess. But it isn’t like grade school anymore. We don’t hang out. I was kind of surprised to see him when I got hired here. He left before we finished junior high. His parents put him in some private school. So, are the rumors true?
VICKY: What rumors?
JOSHUA: I heard echoes from the girls locker room.
VICKY: You perv.
JOSHUA: Well, they were talking so loud, I couldn’t help it.
VICKY: Okay, dork, what did you hear?
JOSHUA: That you’re not interested in Stuart anymore. That you are, oh what were the words, that you’re almost done toying with him.
VICKY: Well that makes me sound like a bitch. I kind of like that.
JOSHUA: It’s just me, you, and the fishbowl.
VICKY: Why should I talk about my love life? Or "lust" life? What about you? I bet you've had a lot of girlfriend. Probably broken a lot of hearts.
JOSHUA: Not really. I've never been in love or anything. Just casual dates and stuff. I mean, for all intensive purposes I’m pretty much like all the other geeks you’ve been describing.
VICKY: But you wear that letterman’s jacket. You’re kind of a jock. I say that with all due respect.