CONTEXT:
The following monologue is from a new (and unpublished) script by Wade Bradford titled "The Roommates." Ben is a relatively normal guy with a normal job and a normal house. But he has been living with two very abnormal (and immature) roommates for over 15 years. Now that Ben is going to get married (to a very normal girl) he wants to kick them out of his small two bedroom home. But he just doesn't know how to tell them without sounding like a jerk (something he cannot stomach).
BEN:
(All alone, practicing what he will say to his roommates.) Hey guys. Hi. We need to talk. If it;s a good time. You guys are moving out by the end of the month. The reasons are self-evident. (He closes his eyes and imagines the impact. He winces.) I need you guys to move out. It's time. I need… I want… I want you guys to know that it has been great living with you. But now I need my own space. But now, we need our own space. Molly and I need… want… feel… prefer. Molly thinks… No, not Molly. I think. You see, when you get married. Two people don't live with other people when they are married. Unless it's their own children. Look. Guys. You have been driving me crazy for the last fifteen years!!! (Closes his eyes. Winces.) Oh, don't cry. I didn't. Look. I want, need, demand, proclaim, ordain, decree - I like that - I have decreed that the time has come. Yes, the time has finally come. (Pulls hair.) I can't do it. I just can't. (Clears throat. Concentrates.) Molly, how would you feel about living with two extra guys?
