1. Home
  2. Education
  3. Plays / Drama

Beatrix's Act Two Monologue from "Promedy"

By , About.com Guide

In this comedic female monologue, Beatrix confronts Dante, an arrogant drama-geek who has been chasing after the girl of his dreams since kindergarten, the lovely cheerleader, Kay Nordstrom. But once Kay finally falls for Dante, he freaks out and tries to run away. Fortunately, his friend and rival Beatrix talks some sense into him.

BEATRIX:

Hold it right there, Dante! I’ve watched you do this all your life, from kindergarten to the twelth grade. But it’s not going to happen tonight. Don’t look at me like that, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Remember first grade? The lunchroom. You’re walking around begging for a chocolate chip cookie. “Oh, I’m little Dante and I’m so sad. My mommy packed nothing but veggies. Oh I wish I had a cookie. Oh if only!” Here, Dante, I said kindly, here’s a chocolate chip cookie, and what did you say? "I’m not hungry." Flash forward. Third grade, playground. It’s the game of tag. You’re it. A hundred kids are running around and you can’t catch a single one. You’re desperate, you’re panting, you’re crying for someone to slow down so that you don’t have to be it anymore. So, feeling sorry for you, because I’m an idiot, I walk right up and say, “Here Dante, I’ll be it. You can tag me.” And you say? "I don’t want to tag you. That’s too easy." Whatever you can’t have, that’s what you want. That’s why you’ve said you were in love with Kay all these years. You knew, deep down that she would never return your affection. And that made things easy and safe. Every time she ignored you, that meant that you’d never have to feel anything real. You’d never have to know what it’s like to have someone who wants to be with you, which meant that you could always be alone. But is that what you want, Dante? Look at her. You’ve been chasing Kay like she was some sort of dream. Well… don’t you want it to come true? Wait, why are you looking at me like that?

Promedy is a full length play by Wade Bradford and was recently obtained by Eldridge Plays. It will be available for schools and theater groups in 2010.

Explore Plays / Drama

About.com Special Features

Dinosaur Discoveries of the Decade

The top 10 fossil discoveries between 2000 and 2010. More >

How to Ace the GRE

Being well prepared is the first step; here are more essential suggestions. More >

  1. Home
  2. Education
  3. Plays / Drama
  4. Monologues
  5. Comedy Female Monologues
  6. Beatrix's Act Two Monologue - Comedic Female Monologue

©2009 About.com, a part of The New York Times Company.

All rights reserved.